In high school at age 17,Dr. Saphierbecame pregnant. She was shunned by her church, lost friends, and told she had to give up her goal of becoming a doctor. Twenty years later, Dr. Saphier is a FOX News contributor, doctor, and author, with a son in college. She graciously spoke with me about motherhood and her newly released book,Love, Mom: Inspiring Stories Celebrating Motherhood. Some of the women featured include FOX personalities Rachel Campos-Duffy, Kayleigh McEnany, Janice Dean, Martha MacCallum, Sandra Smith, and Carley Shimkus.
The book assembles a bouquet of comforting stories, with each chapter telling a unique tale of a mother’s love persisting through difficult situations such as a cancer diagnosis, a disabled husband, divorce, and a child’s suicide.
To be clear, these stories aren’t comforting because the circ*mstances were easy for these women. Rather, they are comforting because they prove that with a mother’s love and God’s grace, we can endure the unthinkable.
Sometimes, a relationship doesn’t work out, sometimes your family experiences a life-changing tragedy. There is also great risk involved with loving someone, which is a beautiful theme woven through the book.
There also isn’t an obviously perfect time to become a mother. Like any decision, there are always trade offs and always alternative paths that could have been taken. In her chapter, Martha MacCallum, a Fox News anchor, shared, “When circ*mstances are difficult, I turn to a piece of advice my mom gave me: she always said, ‘Don’t hesitate. Don’t put life off for another time when it’s more convenient to have kids or after you get this degree or after your husband gets this job.’”
This book illustrates women’s creativity and remarkable ability to navigate complex situations with resilience and adaptability. Our brains are adept at balancing multiple tasks, allowing us to see opportunities where others might see barriers— especially when we are motivated by our children. When one door shuts, we can open a window and find innovative ways to meet our needs. Whether it’s finding a unique side job, starting a business, or transitioning in and out of the workforce, mothers have an extraordinary capacity to adjust.
The value of motherhood is being called into question in our age of self-actualization and DINK (double income no kids) influencers. Pregnancy is often viewed as the worst thing that can happen to a young woman, which could not be further from the truth. Motherhood changes you for the better, giving you the chance to love something more than yourself.
Below are some highlights from my conversation with Dr. Nicole Saphie.
You can buy her bookhereas well as anyplace books are sold.
Some content creators tend towards two extremes. On being hugely self-sacrificing, exposing the toils of being a mother, and the other extreme seeming very perfect, curated and on top of things.
What do you think about a lot of the ‘mom content’ out there?
Dr. Saphier: I’m not big into social media. I post because it’s necessary for certain things, but that’s about it. But I can tell you that when it comes to being a mom, I know that there are those moments where it can feel overwhelming.. But what you find online does not reflect reality…
Motherhood is the greatest blessing that this life has to offer and while we certainly do feel like maybe we’re doing a million things at once, and we probably are, but women are created that way, that's why women are so good at multitasking. That’s why we’re so nurturing. We have a lot of qualities that are intrinsic to us to handle such things, but to add some levity to it and comedy, talking about all the crazy things we do.
Some weekends I’m going into New York City to be on TV and then rushing off to the soccer field and then having to stop at the hospital to call a couple patients. Yeah, we do all these things, but it’s a beautiful thing and I’m certainly grateful to be able to do it. And it’s unfortunate that people feel that maybe that’s how they’re gaining notoriety or popularity by trying to make it seem like any of this is negative, when we really should just be grateful.
What do you think about the idea that you have to pick between having a career and being a mother?
Oftentimes we’re asked “How did you know when was the right time to become a mother?”
Well, my professional life is going to suffer if I decide to be a mom, and vice versa.
“Can I actually have a professional life if I want to be a mom as well?”And the answer is you can absolutely do both.
There’s no perfect time to go after your professional career or to become a mother. It’s just whatever is right for you and whatever that time is, that’s what’s going to be the perfect time in the moment for you.
For some people, it’s better early on, some people it’s better later on — but you can’t sit and wait for the perfect moment…because if you keep putting things off, that may never happen.
If you’re a hard working professional and you have a baby, all of a sudden things work out.. And you may think that you can’t handle any more because your professional life is so bonkers. But let me tell you, you can.
When you have a baby, your life is even more fulfilled.. So not only have you fulfilled your personal life, but also you’ve enriched your professional life as well.
How did you find trust in God as a teen mom?
When I found out I was pregnant at 17, it was a very lonely time. I felt very isolated, very fearful, and didn’t really know what the future had in store.
I spent many nights crying. I just felt very lost. But I always kept my teen Bible close by… because I was needing a lot of support during that time.
I just remember feeling that after reading [my Bible] that nothing will be placed before me that I can’t overcome… So while I may feel like I may be sinking into this lonely abyss, I’m not… That gave me great comfort.
So many other women relied on their faith to get them through hard times.
How do you think your relationship to the world changed after having your first child?
I wrote a letter on FoxNews.com to my younger self— a 17 year old scared, sad girl. And I really just told her, ‘You need to lean on your faith in your family and a few friends right now because the rest of the world is just noise.’
And at that time just like most 17 year olds, I cared a little too much about those around me. But ultimately, as I have learned for the next 24 years, most of the things around us are really justnoise.Leaning in on that faith and family and just a few close friends [is essential]. It’s not about the quantity of friends, it’s about the quality of friends.
… And so when there is gossip and drama and, you know, turmoil happening in the periphery, I try to stay as far removed from it as possiblebecause it really doesn’t matter.
But do you think that having a baby young motivated you more than your peers when in college and medical school?
Certainly the naysayers, [meaning] the people who told me having a baby would ruin my life [and that] I would never become a doctor and never reach those professional goals certainly motivated me..
But now, looking back, I wish that that wasn’t a driving force of my motivation. I wish I didn’t give them so much power over me. Yes, it worked out… And I have created a very beautiful life for myself and my family. But, for far too long, I allowed that negativity and that resentment driving me to fester inside of me. And I don’t think that’s a very healthy feeling.
Has your son read the book?
He was the only person I let read my chapter before it was published, because his opinion meant a lot to me.
He has been the only constant my entire adult life. I do not know what it is to live, essentially, without him by my side. He was at my high school graduation college, [with me through] medical school, he’s been there every step of the way.
His opinion really meant a lot to me… he said that he really appreciates my delicacy [of describing] a very difficult time.. he said it made him cry, but in a good way. And he was very proud of it.
How should people deal with uniquely difficult situations?
As soon as you can acknowledge that you’re not in control and you just have to adjust, [you will achieve] peace and you will know that things will be okay... You cannot change the direction of the wind, but you can adjust your sails and as long as you truly accept that into your heart and into your mind.. nothing can stop you. Nothing can conquer you.
You just have to make adjustments.
Patricia Patnode is a columnist at The Conservateur and a Junior Fellow at the Independent Women's Forum. She can be found on Twitter @IdealPatricia.
