Juhl: How do you tell your child you've lost your job? (2024)

You’ve just lost your job. Take a deep breath. You’re going to get through this.

You are not alone. Barely a week goes by without reports from friends and the media on job losses. Quebec’s unemployment rate was 5.1 per cent in April, up 0.1 points since March.

When it happens to you, though, you’re not thinking of the company you’re in. You’re worried about what’s going to happen next and how you’re going to break the news to your family.

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While you don’t have to tell your children right away — you should take a few beats before you do — you will have to tell them.

The last thing you want to hear is being laid off is an opportunity. I’m going to say it anyway: This is an opportunity to teach your children about worker’s rights, dealing with loss and family teamwork. What you say and how you say it will depend on the age and maturity of your child.

They will want to know how it is going to affect them. Be honest (always be honest; children can sniff out a lie) without frightening them. Use specifics, such as, “We’re going to have to pause your Roblox subscription” or “We’re going to make pizza at home instead of ordering out.”

Explain to them what support you will be accessing during this time, from employment insurance to job-bank resources, from going back to school to taking some time to get your bearings.

It’s OK to tell them you’re sad or angry and you can bookend those emotions by telling them loosely what your plan is. There are stages of grief that come in waves as you adjust to being unemployed.

You can go into more detail with older children, with the caveat they might be less likely to share their concerns. Check in with them more often.

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What if you were laid off in a mass firing? The plan remains the same, but you can say others are going through it, too. It might help them to know it’s not only happening to their family.

What if you were fired because of something you did wrong? Your children are going to figure out eventually you make mistakes. You have probably already apologized to them for missteps like eating the last piece of lasagna or yelling when you shouldn’t have. Tell them you messed up and you are working toward learning from that and you’ll try a different way in your next job — just like when they fail a test and have to study harder next time.

What if you quit? Taking risks, changing your priorities and making decisions for your physical or mental health are all things your older child can understand.

What if you were fired without cause? It’s important for kids to know what their rights are before they enter the workforce. Quebec labour standards include a complaint process for workers who have been unjustly terminated. Filing an official complaint and sharing the process with your older child can empower them in the future.

It’s also a great segue into talking about the importance of unions. You get +3 parenting points for nourishing a budding labour activist. You get +10 parenting points for keeping your cool when they organize a strike with their siblings.

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hjuhl@postmedia.com

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